Fastlane to Hell

I'm often amused (or annoyed) by how stupid people are. It often shows in Fastlane, the electronic toll system installed on the Mass Pike. In spite of HUGE SIGNS above the toll, people would invariably get confused. Is it so difficult to understand what CASH ONLY means? I have a theory that the TICKET ONLY signs scare people who are afraid of getting a ticket. In any case, it's often the case that approaching a Fastlane booth, I'll see the driver in front of me slowing down, obviously confused, going slower and slower into the wrong lane, until they get stuck. I would sigh in despair and let them out. But not this time.

This was the case a few weeks ago. The warning signs were there: an out-of-state license plate (Kansas, if I remember correctly), a driver that slows down way too much, and then, finally, stopping dead at the booth instead of going through. I stopped and waited. The driver, a middle-aged woman, peeped out of the window, looking for a cashier. There was none around. Then, understanding her mistake, she looked back to see if she can back off, and saw my car. With a pleading look she asked me wordlessly if I can back off to let her out (going through the toll without a Fastlane reader carries a hefty fine). I sighed and put the gear in reverse, getting ready to back off. And the I saw the bumper stickers on her car. One of them read:

Supporting our President George W Bush

Bad, but not a mortal offence. Then I read the other one:

Marriage is for One Man and One Woman

with cute little icons of a man and a woman holding hands.

I paused.

I frowned at her.

I put the gear in Drive again.

And then I blew the horn - the expression on my face saying MOVE ON BITCH AND GET BACK TO WHERE THE HELL YOU CAME FROM!

She looked genuinely scared, and immediately drove through the toll. Red lights blinked, a warning alarm sounded, the camera flashed, and the state of Massachusetts, the only state in the union that supports same sex marriage, got a $50 gift from Kansas.

I call it my good deed of the day.