Fastlane to Hell

I'm often amused (or annoyed) by how stupid people are. It often shows in Fastlane, the electronic toll system installed on the Mass Pike. In spite of HUGE SIGNS above the toll, people would invariably get confused. Is it so difficult to understand what CASH ONLY means? I have a theory that the TICKET ONLY signs scare people who are afraid of getting a ticket. In any case, it's often the case that approaching a Fastlane booth, I'll see the driver in front of me slowing down, obviously confused, going slower and slower into the wrong lane, until they get stuck. I would sigh in despair and let them out. But not this time.

This was the case a few weeks ago. The warning signs were there: an out-of-state license plate (Kansas, if I remember correctly), a driver that slows down way too much, and then, finally, stopping dead at the booth instead of going through. I stopped and waited. The driver, a middle-aged woman, peeped out of the window, looking for a cashier. There was none around. Then, understanding her mistake, she looked back to see if she can back off, and saw my car. With a pleading look she asked me wordlessly if I can back off to let her out (going through the toll without a Fastlane reader carries a hefty fine). I sighed and put the gear in reverse, getting ready to back off. And the I saw the bumper stickers on her car. One of them read:

Supporting our President George W Bush

Bad, but not a mortal offence. Then I read the other one:

Marriage is for One Man and One Woman

with cute little icons of a man and a woman holding hands.

I paused.

I frowned at her.

I put the gear in Drive again.

And then I blew the horn - the expression on my face saying MOVE ON BITCH AND GET BACK TO WHERE THE HELL YOU CAME FROM!

She looked genuinely scared, and immediately drove through the toll. Red lights blinked, a warning alarm sounded, the camera flashed, and the state of Massachusetts, the only state in the union that supports same sex marriage, got a $50 gift from Kansas.

I call it my good deed of the day.

3rd Rail

I don't know why this upsets me so much, but I hate seeing these signs in the subway:

Warning! 3^rd Rail!

I keep asking myself - what is it about a third rail that freaks people out? Is 3 a bad omen? Is there a problem with an odd number of rails? Would 4 work better?

And more seriously, either you know that a third rail is electrified and will kill you if you touch it, or the warning should be

Warning! High Voltage Rail!

Not that complicated, right?

The last example is from New Hampshire. Have you ever seen one of these signs?

This has got to make you scratch your head. Rear seats don't have air bags. If air bags save lives in an accident, and if you place your children in the rear seat, they'll die. Maybe the idea is that grown-ups are more important and should take the front seats in case of an accident? Or maybe if you care about your children you should place them at the front seats? After all, the first line says "Airbags save lives."

Of course, the right sign should be:

Air Bags Kill Children
Always Place Children in Rear Seat

But we all have to be nice and positive, to the point that the meaning of the signs get completely obscured. I'm sure this can tell us something important about the american culture, but I have to rush to a meeting (BC cPPT if you must know), I'll try to figure it out later!