Letters to her majesty, Queen Elizabeth II

A year ago I re-joined Facebook under the name "Elizabeth Queen". It was a little taalul (trick) - no harm was meant to the royal family! - all I wanted was to have the queen join a party and convey her good wishes (which she did.) I haven't checked that Facebook account in a while. Apparently, the queen has made a bunch of new friends, including an Australian called Peter. These are some of the messages he sent to the queen. I feel a little bad now, but it does seem he found some comfort in knowing that the Queen of England has befriended him. I can't bring myself to break this spell...

(I omitted his full name to keep his privacy)


November 14th, 2013 

Dearest Majesty,
thank you for accepting my friend request.
Your humble and faithful servant
Peter B_____ C_______


November 27th, 2013

Dear Majesty, may I ask of your experience and unique knowledge, Do you experience a different PERSONALITY from your commonwealth countries depending on their chosen prime ministers and political parties in power or is the countries Personality more portrayed by the morals  of their citizens voicing  their desire through their elected members of parliament.

I m curious if your Majesty has power to investigate police as they swear  their oath to Your Majesty, 

I love being part of the commonwealth and your loyal subject but what becomes of my rights if Australia becomes a republic given that I m a New Zealand Citizen but permanent resident of Australia. My efforts to find my daughters are still being ignored by Deputy Prime Minister and local federal Member Warren Truss. 

I already feel like the expendable New Zealander  to hide a corrupt police officer in witness protection or some such matter of national interest, My daughters have been missing for five years despite having federal court orders for contact,  still the government won t answer questions. 

Does your Majesty have authority over the seven high court judges or are they the Republican Power of the future?  

I wrote to chief justice robert french but he replied he would not take action on my information. George Brandis  replied with a letter saying if I exposed someone in witness protection it could be I who would be locked up. 

Dearest  Majesty, It feels as if the Australian Police kidnapped my  daughters  to suit their own agenda and although I have court orders they are ignored by police and selected evidence against the other party lost to suit the police agenda... 

I have a draft letter, Addressed to Her Majesty with details which I have already sent a copy of to Hon John Key for his information as he is my representative here. Unfortunately not powerful enough your Majesty. 

I understand their is most likely little chance the Australian Judicial system can be influenced but something definitely doesn't add up.. 

My apologies for concerning you with my troubles and intruding on your valuable time.. By your command alone would I ever STOP trying to expose the corruption that kidnapped my two young daughters.. Even if they do seem to be officials? 

At least I can show them I tried every avenue to ensure they were safe.. You are my last hope for justice your Majesty. Courts are rigged  what with witness protection programs and matters of national interest etc, 

Your humble servant 

Peter B_____ C_______


December 2nd, 2013

Majesty, Queen Elizabeth the second.

My condolences to families and friends of the victims of the Clutha helicopter crash. 

Compliments to your brave citizens that rushed in to help.  Impressive stuff the English are made of. Like the teams that took a stand in WW 1 and WW2. Without those heroes I might have not even existed to be able to send my admiration to my Queen. 

Thank you  

Your humble and extremely grateful subject and servant  

Peter B_____ C_______


December 24th, 2013

Dear Queen Elizabeth

Merry Christmas to yourself and the Royal Family, 

Best wishes to those doing it hard in the terrible storm over there, thinking of them, I cancelled my Christmas plans also as my daughters are still missing. 

A very happy couple received a card for their Platinum wedding anniversary here in my area from your Majesty. 

Thank you for watching over us all. 

Blessing you 

Your loyal servant  

Peter B_____ C_______

December 26th, 2013

Dearest  Majesty, Queen Elizabeth the second, 

Thank you so much for your Christmas message,  I appreciate your guidance and suggestions and found great strength from your wisdom as I feel it is the path to solutions that I  HAD already implemented due to the situation I have found myself involved in,  A little like getting the answer correct in an examination is the feeling I have. 

Beautiful photograph of Your Majesty and  Heirs'. Prince George has his fathers and Grand fathers good looks, Not as beautiful as my Queen though, Especially Your Majesty's coronation photographs!  I love the one with Your Majesty holding the orb. So beautiful!  Movie stars must have been scared like "Cat on a hot tin roof" 

Congratulations with relation to the lovely Zara Phillips and her husband Mr Tindall on their expected new arrival, best wishes to all. 

Your Humble, Loyal and loving  Servant 

Peter B_____ C_______